My dog is a serial killer

Last night, as every other night, we let Moxie out to pee before bed. He couldn't have been outside for more than a minute before we started to get worried. He never takes this long. Megan picked up Ollie — because if you're not paying attention while you stand with the back door open he'll sneak out between your legs — and poked her head out the door to call him. Almost immediately we could hear a faint squeaking. She scanned the back yard to try and spot him — an almost impossible task when it's dark, because the light sucks (note to self: new flood light for back yard?) — and thought she saw him in a nearby corner, but he wasn't responding to her calls and even bribes with treats; a sure sign he was doing something he shouldn't be: usually either eating poop or killing something. Megan was already in her pajamas so she told me to get my shoes on. By this time I was already on my way out the door. I knew what was happening. I found Moxie in the corner of the yard where the squeaking wasn't as faint as before, and he didn't even look up when I patted him on the back. He was "playing" with some yard guests. I grabbed him by the collar and pulled him away from the corner. He had something in his mouth, perhaps a mouse. I told him to drop it, thankfully he did (intentionally or not) and I dragged him unwillingly into the house. I explained what I saw to Megan — that it was very small and looked like it had a long-ish tail. I figured it was a mouse, but there was no question that it was injured. We debated over what the humane thing to do was. If it was injured an unable to move, the best thing would be to kill it. The only things I could think of were to try and break its neck, or to stomp it — neither of which I have the stomach to (easily) accomplish. Thankfully I wouldn't have to try. Megan got some shoes on and we went out to check out the damage. The mouse wasn't where I remembered Moxie dropping it, so we checked back over in the corner and found him crouched up against the house. He looked terrified and covered in slobber, but considering that he made it all the way back to the nest, he had a chance. Further inspection of the area with a flashlight yielded two dead baby bunnies under a bush. Our mouse friend was a bunny. I picked up the two dead bunnies with a ziploc bag and put them in the trash, and we decided to see if the lone survivor would make it through the night, and check on him in the morning. Sleeping wasn't easy. I had just handled 2 dead baby bunnies, with soft fur, squishy bellies, and flat little ears like clover leaves. Try getting that out of your head sitting in the dark in silence. He didn't make it.

A lovely thing to come home to

Methinks the cat has been getting onto the kitchen counter. Photo credit: Megan I've been racking my brain trying to come up with a way to teach the cat not to get up on the counters. He surely knows he's not supposed to — he never does while we're home. I'm thinking spike strips or those sticky roach-trap pads. The last one has the added hilarious benefit of coming home to find the cat lying on the floor with his feet stuck to the trap, crying because he can't move. Too cruel?

At Express!

I tried searching google images for "stretch pants", but I'm not finding what I'm looking for, so you're just going to have to figure it out from my words. Megan and I were out doing some shopping over the weekend. I for geeky things, she for jeans. One of the places we stopped was Express, because that's the only place that sells jeans that are a foot and a half long, like her legs. While we were perusing the racks there, trying to find something costing $15 to make perfect use of whatever coupon she had, we passed, and god I wish I was kidding about this, a rack with black stretch pants on it. Seriously. At Express! And I'm not just talking about stretchy pants, here. Stretch pants. The ones with the loop underneath the leg that goes underneath your foot and into your shoe. I know my mom had a pair. And Megan says she wore them as a kid. There's no way these things are back in style. (Please, God?) I'm hoping it was some sort of Candid Camera prank to see how the girls shopping there would react. I think we probably gave them some decent footage.